Ronaldo's Shape Shack II

Posted by Esteban Pumpernickel February 26, 2009

Hey Bro's, I'm back now for part 2 of my ongoing shape column!! Don't being too stoked on my secrets getting out... yet! So.... for my second article I'm going to explain my Whale Tail model.

I have found greatness in the shape for the following reasonings:
1.) Having the raddest name ever.
2.) Super forgiving.

I know point one is non-false statement because I speak very intellectual English and I have never heard a better surfboard name. Every straight man likes to see G-string cresting ridge of ass and over pants - this being called whale tail!!! This board also has very wide tail, so name is double ironic in nature.

Point two is true because, though I am not ominous, I do understand all facts of women. The fat women with big whale tail are very forgiving. They are just happy to have man for them. Same for surfboard. The big tail says, "Hey, I am so buoyant that I am just happy for to have a shredder standing on me!" Then, you see, the board won't buck you like skinny narrow board. This allows for dynamic lift and polarized projections. It's like having two angry magnets - see? You call both ways too- dynamic projection and polarized lift - meaning same things. Sometimes shredders get confused on my scientific mutterings so I like to explain.

Now you see that the Whale Tail model is superior in many ways to JC, Merrick, Hobie or Cooperfish boards. Below are more evidence...

My bro, Hans, massive shredder and total Regulator (even though shrimpy) , holding the Whale Tail that won him the Naujac Surf Classic. Below is the footage of his winning wave.

Talk about Shred!!


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