6'0 x ?? x 430983443 x ??

Posted by Nigel S. Peppercock March 01, 2009

Mini Simmons is done, thanks Ian - I can't wait to try it... Maybe sprinkle some of your magical south up here, and do some kind of Hindu Wizard Voodoo to transform it into a NW and smite those who impose on my gnar-shredding. God, what a weekend... Two boards... Ryan, Mr. Brom, would either of you like to make this a four-board weekend? Or perhaps Esteban will get off of his ass and shape the two blanks that have been in his garage for the past year (or two?). 

Tapered-stringer radical-deck-patch action:

Worlds widest twin-fin funboard tail:

More base than your average tri-fin noserider at Blackies:
Gnarshire especial:
The result of the Gnarshire Especial... Alex Kopps WHO?:

Stay tuned:

Here's a Gnarshire Custom (Mr. Andreini got a kick out of this):

Update: Mark of the Beast


If you see any of the surfing boards featured on the Gnarshire, please refrain from taking photographs of the owners, despite your strong desire to catalog the litany of tyranny we inflict on others.  Here at the Gnarshire, anonymity is key. Also, spellcheck highlights Gnarshire.... We really need to start a similar movement as the US did when they boycotted the letter 'u' (colour).. But that's neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is, is that we are nice here at the Shire, and if you see any of these crafts feel free to converse about them with us. Fact of the matter is, is that you'd probably wish you hadn't. We're a bunch Chatty-Cathy's over here, and we'll tell you why your CJ Nelson model is obsolete, or how Steve Brom likes to cut the cuffs off of the sweaters he wears... Or even how much we like orange chicken. Also, men's asses.


  1. "Here at the Gnarshire, anonymity is key" - Now, why is that? OH, so you guys can post fucked comments, talk mad shit, vibe people, and hate relentlessly online. Isn't your job at the beach house enough hate in one day 'Nick S Peppercock'?

    Oh yeah, don't know if you haven't figured it out yet, but spray paint on surfboards? fucking hacked. get some style. What's next... the gnarshire dolphins?

    most. contrived. blog. ever.

    ...and i'm just spreading a taste of hatred that you guys consistently share on other blogs daily, so dont be a bag of cunts and delete this comment like you did last time, Nick.

  2. Sick buddy, you know my name. If you hadn't noticed, that anonymity comment was directed toward you, the only asshole I've witnessed openly target and flame other blogs for no reason. I've tolerated your mindless babble for long enough, so get the fucking sand out of your vagina and take it easy. I know you're gearing up for the next sand-castle contest down at Summerland, but I don't think you're going to be able to top your entry from last year: a life sized rendition of the Eiffel Tower. How you got all that sand up there, I don't know. How you spewed it all out of those loose lips, beyond me - you must've spent a lot of time in Mexico.

    If you have such a problem with me, you're more than welcome to come into my "shit job" - which you seem to spend an ample amount of time in - and tell me to my face. Until then, you're just talking out of your ass.

    The first time you came around I was almost shocked to see that someone brought the hate-card to the Shire. Until you, not a single person has had a problem with me or the Gnarshire. I'm not sure who you, or your "15" other "friends" are, and quite frankly I don't really care. I'd just like you to reveal yourself so I can go out of my way to make your day hell. If you think I'm an asshole when I'm just fucking around at work, then you'll probably get even more butthurt when you find out what it's like to be hated by me.

    As for being contrived, you're completely correct - It's a blog. It's completely voluntary. By feeding into it, I pray you can understand the irony.

    As for fucked comments, I don't see any. Please, direct me towards these fucked comments. You're like George Bush in Iraq.

    I'd like to end by pointing out the fact that your mother should have swallowed you.

    Also, make sure to stop by. I work at Wednesday, and I'll be waiting for you. Don't worry about me 'breaking you off' because I respect my place of work, as well as the owner, therefore I couldn't possibly harm you on company property. So please attempt to make it - I'll have the crumpets ready.

  3. Gnarslayer,

    I'm glad to see that you are still checking the blog daily. For such a horribly contrived blog (name one that is not), it seems to be holding your attention. It's ok to be obsessed with a person and their blog. But do know that you are now Nigel's bitch stalker. You say you have met him... really? And you still want to stalk him? He's gross.

    I think you should go into his work on Wednesday and grow a sack. Better yet, you should meet me sometime. Nigel is too nice. If you know me, as well as you do Nigel, you'll know that I love a good 'breaking off'. I fucking live for it. Next time you see me in the water 'vibing people', grow some fucking balls and call me out. I'll break you into two little bite sized bro-snacks. Bring your '15' friends too. Shut your little rich boy mouth and name yourself. Otherwise, zip it.

    PS - we have narrowed it down to about 3 people....

  4. PS - Nice board. Too bad it's going into the rocks with the Owl...

  5. Worm Says:
  6. what the fuck. your comments are the length of english assignments

    talk all the shit on blackies but our tight pant give us better noserides in the water

  7. Nigel is the king of tight pants and I love surfing Blackies. Dano has made me some of my favorite boards. See, we are not all that different... it's all about perspective...

  8. All I have to say is this: I imagine the soundtrack to this particular blog entry to consist of my latest opus realized in a band I play with. We are called the Soft Tops. We're a surf rock motown band (you read that correctly). The opus in question is really the incarnation of the band itself. Imagine Hawaiian Shirts, Danelectro Guitar equipment (superfiscially retro, like Orange Amp reissues), a lot of reverb with doo-wop harmonized breakdowns.
    Incidentally, we have yet to record as we're waiting for the GnarSlayer to put down his thesaurus and get back behind the sound board. We were wondering where he was at, as we kept trying to contact him. One day I went to his artist-loft-converted-warehouse and heard the usual smooth jazz blasting from within. Naturally, I was afraid to enter. I braved it anyway, as my groomed-bearded band mates were relying on me. Sure enough, the GnarSlayer sat, primed in a ponytail and all, trying to sound out the word "contrived" and its variations. It was adorable. I couldn't interrupt it needless to say.

  9. Tim Says:
  10. ...wait a minute, where did that ridiculous 5 page long retort go that was directed at 'thegnarslayer'? you guys sure get defensive hahahaha

  11. What's it to you, bitch.

    Kidding, roflmaololtgif.

  12. Hi Tim. You sure love blogs! I bet you love lot's of things!

  13. warm jet Says:
  14. i am not funny.
    i am very confused by this dialogue.
    i feel left out.
    i am sad.
    i have often been forced to hoist the jolly roger to repent for my sins.
    hoisting makes the raisin very sore.
    i'm sorry.


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